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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830862">For your eyes only.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare'>fxlminare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [72]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellamy Blake fanfiction, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, POV Bellamy Blake, Protective Bellamy Blake, Romantic Fluff, Soft Bellamy Blake, The 100 (TV) Season 1, Worried Bellamy Blake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:13:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>"Reader hasn't been acting right because they are being pressured by one of their other friends about telling Bellamy how they feel. Bellamy notices her unusual behavior and asks them to go on a walk in attempts to find out what is going on. While on said walk Bellamy lets it slip that he loves the reader, they suddenly freak out and run back to camp trying to avoid Bellamy, he is confused, runs after reader who feels like they cannot be loved by someone because of what has happened to them in the past and their massive trust issues. Bellamy tries to convince them otherwise causing the two to end up having a small make out session. The reader still has doubts and Bellamy reassures before the reader admits their feelings to him."</p>
</div>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [72]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>For your eyes only.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><b>a/n:</b> i was asked for fluff and angst so, here we go.</p>
</div>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>YOUR POV</b>
</p><p>Being thrown into the dropship like I was expendable trash, meant to die on Earth had had to be the best thing to ever happen to me; not only had I survived but I was thriving down here: I was free to do as I pleased, lived surrounded by friends and was learning to defend myself like I had wanted to do for a long time. And then, of course, there was the tiny, minor, small detail of my crush on Bellamy; it wasn't really a tiny crush though, I had established feelings for him rooted deep in my chest. Not that he knew or that he ever would. At least, that was my plan until Clarke started pestering me about it nonstop. I should've never confessed to her; I was better with my mouth shut.</p><p>- "Just because you want me to tell him because you have to be right all the time, doesn't mean pressuring me to do so is right."</p><p>- "I'm just saying..."</p><p>- "I know what you're saying." -I brushed my hand in front of her- "Whatever, Clarke."</p><p>I loved Clarke, she had been my best friend for as long as I could remember but she was still out of line; pushing me to say something wasn't an added pressure I needed in my life. I had been going over whether to tell Bellamy or not and Clarke was being everything but helpful. I was plainly frustrated now, too many thoughts colliding in my head, I didn't even know how to act around him anymore and I was scared he'd start to catch up for that was the last thing I needed but, I knew, if we kept going like this, he'd eventually ask and I... I wasn't ready.</p><p>I walked away from the bonfire, wanting to be left alone but, at the same time, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts. I really liked Bellamy and I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to mess up the best friendship I had developed down here just because I thought I liked him only to find out that, not only he didn't feel the same for me, but that it was actually just a temporary crush. Did I like him or did I just enjoy the attention he gave me?</p><p>- "Hey, Y/N!"</p><p>I froze in my place as I heard Bellamy calling for me; half of me wanted to run away but my other half was stuck there, looking at the ground, trying to think of something to say but words wouldn't come out.</p><p>- "Y/N?" -he was soon in front of me, I could see his feet and lower legs in front of me as I tried to calm my breathing- "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"</p><p>I shook my head, taking a deep breath as I looked up at him. I wondered often why he had to be so handsome, why did he have to look so good under the hard light from the flames and the dim light from the moon, why he had to look out for me, why couldn't he act unbothered by me, why...</p><p>- "You sure?" -he eyed me with such intensity, he must have been reading my thoughts- "You've been acting... weird around me lately."</p><p>Great, he had caught up, that was exactly the cherry on top for my day. I had nothing to say. What could I say? 'hey, yes, I'm such irremediably in love with you and I was afraid you'd realize and push me away because I'm just a friend to you'? Way to go. <em>Thanks Clarke for getting in my head.</em></p><p>- "I'm just tired. It's been a long..."</p><p>- "Couple of days?" -he smiled as I realized he was seeing right through my lies- "Wanna come out on a walk with me? Clear your mind, maybe?"</p><p>- "Outside?"</p><p>- "Just around the perimeter."</p><p>I should've said no, I should've gone back into my tent and fallen asleep and maybe my crush on him would have just died in my sleep but no, I agreed, I went out with him. What was I thinking? That he'd fall for me under the moonlight? God, I was so stupid.</p><p>
  <b>---------------</b>
</p><p>
  <b>BELLAMY'S POV</b>
</p><p>Y/N had been acting... different the past couple of days and I had come to realize it was mainly around me which got me thinking of all the possible things I could've done wrong and, seeing I couldn't find any, I started to think, maybe, she had caught on on how I felt and was trying to put some distance between us because of it. Either way, I needed to figure it out, I had to speak to her and find out what I could do to fix it. I didn't want to lose her; I loved her, yes but I'd be happy just being her friend if that was all she wanted us to be... anything but losing her.</p><p>I found her that late afternoon, walking around alone, clearly lost to her thoughts, smiling to myself as I walked after her; falling for Y/N had been so effortless, my feelings going almost unnoticed until they hit me like a truck one day. I regretted nothing. I just hoped she could feel the same about me one day, soon, before something happened to either of us.</p><p>I asked her to come for a walk with me, thinking the calmness of the night and the stars would ease her mind, hoping she'd open up as we walked in silence around the wall; there was so much I wanted to say but nothing felt right and, honestly? I just cared about her well-being now so, if there was anything I could do to fix what was bothering her, I'd do it.</p><p>- "So..." -I glanced at her- "how was your day?"</p><p>- "My day?" -she looked at me like she had just seen a ghost- "Are you... trying to make small conversation with me?"</p><p>- "I..." -I suddenly felt really stupid, we were way past 'small talk'- "I just wanna know what's going on, Y/N; I'd give anything to know what you're thinking."</p><p>- "You don't want that, trust me."</p><p>- "But I do, I'm worried, you've been acting different around me and I can't help but wonder if it's because of something I've done or said or..."</p><p>- "It's not you, Bellamy, it's me." -she stopped and turned to face me- "I'm sorry."</p><p>- "Just tell me what's wrong; I wanna help."</p><p>- "But you can't."</p><p>She eyed me with caution, moving her eyes from my left to my right, anxious; as if half of her wanted to tell me what was really happening and her other half were fighting to keep it quiet; I could tell she was afraid and worried and, for a moment, I wondered if she knew about how I felt. But that made no sense, why would that worry her? If anything, it should make her want to tell me how she feels and, if it's not the same, we can move on from it; I mean, I could try to get over it and fail but pretend like I was doing great. But she couldn't know, no one knew. Not that I knew of.</p><p>- "So, if it's not me and it's you, and I can't help, then... tell me who can and I'll make sure they do."</p><p>- "No, it's not like that. It's more..." -she looked around us, bitting her inner cheek thinking- "It's more of a philosophical problem."</p><p>- "A... philosophical problem?" -I furrowed my eyebrows trying not to chuckle as I saw her face- "That makes no sense."</p><p>- "Welcome to philosophical problems."</p><p>I laughed this time as she did, knowing things between us would be okay, knowing that it wasn't about my feelings for her but still wondering what could it be; I had seen her huff at Clarke and ignore her that afternoon and I wondered if Clarke was being Clarke and pushing Y/N to do something she didn't want to do... which would explain the root of the philosophical problem. So that had to be it.</p><p>- "Okay but why don't you try to explain and, if I truly am no help, I won't ask again."</p><p>- "I'd rather not." -she shook her head as she turned around to leave- "Besides, why would you wanna help me with something that has no answer."</p><p>- "Because that's what people who love and care about other people do. And I love you, so I care."</p><p>She flinched in front of me, making me worry for a second before she turned to look at me with agitation in her eyes and confusion and I furrowed my eyebrows as I didn't understand until I went over what I had just said. Shit. I tried to open my mouth again to explain myself, to make it better and confess properly but she didn't give me the time, putting her hand over her mouth and running back to camp before I could so much as to take the breath I needed. I cursed myself and started running after her, calling out her name, needing her to stop, to listen to me... Shit, how did I let it slip like that? Now I had actually messed up.</p><p>
  <b>-----------</b>
</p><p>
  <b>YOUR POV</b>
</p><p>I hadn't even given it a second thought, running back to camp as fast as my legs allowed me. I couldn't believe what my ears screamed they had hear, my brain was having a hard time processing it but, by the look in Bellamy's eyes, I could tell he had actually said it. He had actually said he loved me. Ha, I doubted that more than I doubted that the Chancellor ever cared for us, and that happened to be a fact so... He was lying, he was playing with me. Could have Clarke told him to tell me that, thinking it'd trigger my own confession? No, that was wrong; it was messed up.</p><p>- "Y/N, wait!"</p><p>I knew he was coming after me and I only wished I had a room with an actual door to shut so he wouldn't follow me any longer. And that was when it hit me: the dropship. The upper-level had a hatch I could close from inside so I changed directions before I got to my tent, rushing up the stairs, scaring Jasper as I did and closing the hatch just as I saw Bellamy starting to go up the stairs.</p><p>No, absolutely not. He was lying. He had to be. How could someone like him love someone like me? Someone so broken and wretched, so flawed and scared, whose life had only pushed her to be someone she never wanted to be; after the things I had done and all that had happened to me; after the trauma and the pain I endured alone, after the lows and the extremely low lows; after I had hated myself so deeply for so long and after I learned to trust nobody because everyone always either left or let me down. No. He was lying. He just... he was... I wasn't sure what he was playing but I didn't wanna be part of it.</p><p>- "Y/N!" -I jumped on my seat as I had crawled against the wall, hearing Bellamy's fist hit the hatch- "Please, Y/N, let me in."</p><p>I was not going to give in, he could scream all day for all I cared. He was lying. This was all my fault; if I had never spoken my feelings out loud, this would have never happened, I was convinced. I always fucked things up and then people made it all worse. God, I suddenly hated Earth. I hated myself and I hated him for pretending to be someone he wasn't and feel something he would never even consider.</p><p>- "Come on, Y/N, at least let me know you're okay." -his voice was weak and broken, a plead that could have been a murmur if I didn't know he was screaming to make sure I heard him through the layers of metal separating us- "Please, let me explain."</p><p>Explain? Explain what? How he was making fun of me? How he said those words without feeling them because he thought it'd be something to laugh about? Explain how he knew how I felt and decided to make a joke out of it? Tell me why he did it and then push me away like I was garbage from last week's hunt? I wanted this day to end so badly. The whole week. Throw the whole month away for all I cared. Until I realized I would eventually have to go out for food. Shit. I would have to face him. I didn't want to but I'd have to. And, the way I saw it, it was way better to get it over with just between us than the next day with the whole camp listening. I sighed before I wiped the couple tears that had fallen down my cheeks and neck, rubbing my eyes and slowly walking to the hatch, already dreading what was to come, hoping it'd be quick, like a stab to the neck and then you're dead.</p><p>- "Y/N!"</p><p>He hit the hatch again with all his strength just as I started to open it, wondering how he was not bruising his knuckles, not even looking at him before he basically threw it open as I walked to the other side, looking at the wall like something interesting was going on on it. I hadn't thought this through but did I ever. I heard him jumping into the level, rushed footsteps coming my way and I gulped, settling for the worse. <em>Let's just get it over with.</em></p><p>- "Hey, Y/N, look at me."</p><p>I appreciated that he could have forced me to turn around or shove his face in front of mine but instead of pushing me, he chose to ask me to do it on my own terms. That had to be an okay beginning, right? Or maybe the worse was yet to come. I sighed as I turned to face him, biting my tongue as I was unexpectedly met with deeply worried eyes when I had expected a joke to come out of his lips. Maybe he was putting on a façade. He surely was. And he was damn good at it, but I was better at this game I had been playing for years.</p><p>- "Why did you run away from me?" -his gaze was intense on mine, almost invasive but not quite, rendering me speechless once again, shifting uncomfortable on my feet and staying silent- "Did I... what I said..."</p><p>- "The lie you said, you mean."</p><p>Don't ask me where the strength to say that came from because I didn't know but I did realize it made him uncomfortable; now it was him staring at me startled, shifting his weight on his feet as he opened his mouth and closed it. He hadn't prepared for me to call him out so soon. Of course not.</p><p>- "Why do you think it's a lie?"</p><p>- "Because it always is." -I huffed as I allowed my arms to fall to my sides heavily; I was tired of this- "No one ever means it and it's always me getting hurt and being thrown into a cell that people forget about after they throw the key away."</p><p>Why was I even giving him long explanations? No, no, Y/N, that is exactly what he wants; stop playing his game. I licked my lips and kept my eyes on him, glaring, just wanting for him to end this before I had to do it myself. He sighed, standing tall and simply looking at me. Why was he acting like that? Why wasn't he laughing or mocking me or leaving me to talk about me with his friends? Why was he standing there, almost completely still? Was this a new maneuver to lie to me, get me to confess and then mock me?</p><p>- "Y/N, I wasn't lying."</p><p>Something in his eyes told me he was being honest but, could I trust that? Could I trust his simple words? No; matters like this were demonstrated truly through actions, not mere words that left us with the wind. He had to back his words with actions; I knew he knew that.</p><p>- "And why should I trust you?"</p><p>- "Because I've never lied to you and I would never do, especially not about my feelings."</p><p>I sighed. For what I knew he was saying the truth; I had never caught him in a lie, but that could be because he was a good liar, not just because he didn't tell me lies. But why would he lie to me? He had nothing to prove and nothing to hide; I knew about his past and he knew most of mine. He knew I had a hard time letting people in and trusting them but with him it had been so easy. Until now.</p><p>- "And I know you don't trust just words and I will show you with actions like I've tried to do up until now." -he took a step closer to me; I wanted to move back but my body decided I was better stuck in place- "I really like you and this was not how I wanted you to find out nor how I expected to confess but, I guess, the only thing left to say is..."</p><p>He gulped, his eyes traveling all over my face, from my left to my right, parted lips that I was unable not to stare at; I had wondered often how kissing him would feel like, how being in his arms would make me feel, how much I wanted to run my hands through his hair and pull him down to me and... somehow, his lips had ended up over mine, no more words exchanged. My lips reacted faster than my brain, kissing him back; my fingers finally did what they wanted to do as his hands rested firmly against my back, pulling me closer if that was possible. I moved back to breathe but I wanted more, his hands moving down to the back of my thighs, pulling me up reminded me he wanted more too, carrying me to the wall and keeping me up against it, wrapping my legs around his waist as our lips were never too far from each other's. He bit my lower lip and chuckled as I whined, pulling down on his hair and gaining a low grunt from him. I rested my forehead against his when I couldn't keep going, feeling like my chest was screaming for air, hearing his raged breathing too, his hands on my waist after he put me on the floor again and, for a second, I wanted that moment to stay like that forever; for us to stay just like that. But that couldn't be.</p><p>- "The only thing left to say is..." -he moved his head back, pulling up my chin to make sure I had my eyes on him- "...I love you."</p><p>
  <b>---------------</b>
</p><p>
  <b>BELLAMY'S POV</b>
</p><p>After that, Y/N had finally smiled, both of us staying there for a couple more minutes, simply holding her until she agreed to get out of there, nodding at me before she left to her tent, asking me not to walk her there because she wanted to be alone; I understood, Y/N's life hadn't been the easiest but I hadn't expected her to react that way to my feelings because of her trust issues; in fact, I had expected her to run away because she didn't feel the same, disgusted that I could feel like that and not because she was convinced I was lying. How could I lie about something like that? About loving her? How could I say those words out loud like they were nothing, like speaking them for the wind to carry them was easy as breathing? No. I meant it. And I'd still mean it even if the next day she acted like I had never said it, even if she pushed me away because it was uncomfortable for her now. I'd love her even if she were with someone else, but I wouldn't try to force her to be with me, that'd be wrong; I just wanted her to be happy and free.</p><p>- "Goodnight, Y/N."</p><p>I murmured those words more to myself than anything else, unable not to wish I could whisper them to her as she fell asleep in my arms. Maybe one day. I watched as the light inside her tent disappeared, looking up at the sky for a moment before making my way to my tent, hoping to dream of her but not allowing that to show on my face. I had a façade to maintain. But maybe one day I'd get not to play like that anymore, able to be carefree and walk by her side as in love as I stood.</p><p>The next morning, the memory of Y/N's fingers curling on my hair was still fresh, her lips on mine had left a very satisfying mark that I hoped would never go away but I knew all that would fade away with time just like I knew the memory of it would be engraved in my mind for much longer. I got out of my tent, unable not to glance first at her tent, wondering if she'd be out by now. I was not going to push her to speak about it nor go after her and make her feel trapped; I'd let her come to me when she felt ready; I hoped that'd be soon because, honestly? I was dying to kiss her again.</p><p>However, I didn't see much of her that day, having to go out on a hunting trip and then I was stuck in patrol all afternoon, only able to go find some food when it had been dark for quite some time, seeing a couple of kids sat by the fire, joking around, straightening as I walked by before going back to their jokes. I ate quickly in silence, only wanting to lay on the grass and stargaze for a while but how would that make me look? Ruling the place was great but it came with some cons I had to remember. I couldn't look weak. I wasn't weak.</p><p>- "Bellamy?"</p><p>Hearing her voice made my heart skip a beat, turning around immediately for I had been walking back to my tent, having to control my face from showing how attractive I thought she looked under the soft light of the flames and the night sky. I gave her a small smile as she approached me, getting ready for whatever was to come, not expecting much but receiving more than I could have hoped for. Her hands moved to my face as she stood directly in front of me, smiling and eyeing my lips, closing her eyes as I was still processing how close I had her, reacting as soon as I felt her lips on mine, wrapping my arms around her torso, kissing her back gently, allowing her to move her lips against mine at the pace she wanted. I couldn't help the pleased sigh that escaped my lips as we pull apart to breathe, her head resting on my chest for a moment before she took a step back.</p><p>- "I have a confession to make." -I nodded, knowing I was failing at pretending I wasn't falling for her a bit more every second as she chuckled, taking one of my hands in hers- "I..." -she bit her lower lip, so I squeezed her hand, not rushing her, but letting her know I was listening and I had all night for her- "I really like you too." -she looked down- "I've had feelings for you for a while but I... I wasn't sure... I didn't want to mess up our friendship." -she looked into my eyes again- "I was scared."</p><p>- "I get that." -I took her other hand in mine and pulled her to me again- "I was so scared when you ran away, I thought I had lost you because I let it slip."</p><p>- "You could never lose me." -she smiled, her hand now resting on my neck, her thumb running over my jaw gently, lovingly- "I love you."</p><p>I smiled, moving my free hand to the side of her neck as I moved my other to her waist, tilting her head up as she chuckled, both her hands now tied behind my neck as we kissed again. Everything felt right: she was the one for me; I had known it for a while but now, knowing she felt the same about me, it made everything so much better. Our kisses became heated as we allowed less and less time in between to breathe, holding onto her like my life depended on it, wishing I could lay on the ground with her and keep making out under the stars. We finally had to stop, ragged breathings and fast-beating hearts as I rested my forehead over hers, her hot breath just over my mouth, pecking her lips a couple of times.</p><p>- "Would you sleep in my tent tonight?" -I murmured just for her to hear, feeling her tense for just a second, but relaxing even before I spoke again- "I want to fall asleep with you in my arms, just sleep."</p><p>- "I'd like to wake up in your arms."</p><p>She pulled back, allowing me to see the love in her eyes and the happiness on her smile; I felt invincible, taking her hand in mine and walking back to my tent together. Maybe time hadn't been so right with us and maybe we hadn't gotten together in the most common way but I had to admit, I'd do it all over again if we ended up like this, even allow the fear to settle deep in my chest as I ran after her; it was all worth it to know Y/N loved me, to fall asleep with her in my arms, murmuring how much I loved her in her ear, feeling her drift off to sleep before I did, kissing her neck and thanking whoever was listening for driving us together. For getting me to her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <b>🥂Feedback is? The best shit ever!🥂</b><br/>  </p>
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